IMAGE / Mrs. Kari Coon
Hi, my name is McDreamy. My brother, McSteamy, and I enjoy our lives as hedgehogs.
McDreamy lives a fast-paced life, for a hedgehog
6 a.m.
My owner’s alarm will not stop going off.
I know I am not nocturnal and that I was up anyway but come on, how annoying.
Oh thank goodness, she finally turned it off.
How peaceful.
Oh wait … here come the dogs.
I cannot tell if they are both dogs or if one is a miniature horse.
My owner’s are kind of weird, so it is possible that they would bring a horse into the house.
“MOLLY! MAGGIE! GET OUTSIDE!” my owner, Hannah, shouts.
These are the dogs that can be so mean to me. The one on the left is some kind of mutated giant dog.
Does anyone in this house know how to use their indoor voices?
8 a.m.
Finally, both of the teenagers are gone.
Now I, who go by the name McDreamy, can go to bed in peace.
Both of the dogs have settled down for a nap and McSteamy (my fellow hedgehog) has stopped eating, so it is finally silent.
9 a.m.
My mom just woke up.
She is kind of weird.
She takes pictures of us a lot.
I hope she does not do it today.
It sounds like she is running late to work.
I think we are in the clear.
12 p.m.
Well at least I got three hours of sleep.
Now my dad is blaring his music as he does the dishes.
Honestly, Dad, Kanye West?
You are better than that.
2:30 p.m.
My time of rest is officially over.
I was trying to escape the bath. Hannah thought it was cute.
Hannah is now home and wants to play.
She does not seem to understand that, just like her, all I want to do is sleep.
When she tries to pick me up, I curl into a small, poky ball.
That does not stop her, though. She smartly uses a soft, warm cloth to pick me up.
Maybe this is not so bad.
She brings me into the living room where the dogs are.
I used to be scared of them, considering they both tried to eat me at one point.
But now they just sniff at me, and Hannah keeps me close to her so I feel safe.
After 30 minutes of cuddling, Hannah gives McSteamy and me baths before she puts us back in our cages.
This mug was freezing. It did make a cute picture, though.
Now I go back to sleep.
5 p.m.
I dread this time of day.
My adoptive mother has just made it home from work.
She loves to take pictures of my hedgehog siblings and I.
I hate when people take my picture.
It makes me self-conscious.
Not to mention, she sticks me in cold mugs.
I am slowly becoming famous on Instagram, though.
9 p.m.
All of my humans are finally in bed.
Now that they are asleep, I can finally get up and run around in my wheel.
If my mom is going to keep taking pictures of me, I should probably work off these treats.
I think Hannah is saying something. “Hi, buddy. Let’s get off the loud, squeaky wheel, OK? We are all trying to sleep.”
Seriously? I should consider your sleeping pattern when you do not consider mine?
This is my cozy dome inside my cage. My brother and I share it.
I look up at her with my cute, little hedgehog eyes, making her feel terrible.
“OK. Fine,” she says. “Just try to keep it down, OK?”
After a few minutes I give up and get off the wheel anyway.
I crawl back into my dome with my brother and we lie together to stay warm.
It took some getting used to my new owners, but I am lucky to have them.
They provide everything I need and try hard to make me feel comfortable.
They may be a little loud, but I still like them.
But, please, don’t tell them I said that.